a spectrum of endings
by dimitrisgirl18
Summary: "This is not her ending. She refuses." During the final battle, with endings all around her, Tonks is determined to find Remus. A story of colors, of endings, and of love. / RemusTonks, for Anna.


_a spectrum of endings_

* * *

"Cinderella said to Snow White / 'How does love get so off course / All I wanted was a white knight / With a good heart, soft touch, fast horse'" – Faith Hill

* * *

"Have you seen Remus?" she asks.

"He was planning to lead a group of fighters into the grounds-"

"Have you seen Remus?"

"He was dueling Dolohov—haven't seen him since!"

Her feet step in time to the red all around her. Red blood, red and sleepless eyes, red hearts getting broken and mangled.

Something isn't right. She feels someone's presence behind her, and turns around, wand out.

"It's me!" Molly says, quickly putting her hands up.

Tonks sighs. "Hello, Molly. I've got to run and find Remus, have you seen him?"

"No, dear, but be careful-"

Red hair. Red hearts. Red blood. The last time she will see a friend.

* * *

She is lost. The place that used to be her home is now her prison; filled with the people she loves while they are being killed and tortured. The castle, once majestic, is unrecognizable from the inside. She is as broken as the walls, though there are hardly any walls left.

(Perhaps that's why she feels so much like them.)

She can hear orange curses and jinxes and hexes flying past her. For many, it will be a final moment. An untimely ending; unwanted and unwelcomed. Yet to her, they don't exist. Nothing else matters. She is passing death and life and victory and downfall, and she sees none of it. The old brown walls crumble and turn to dust.

The dust—the color of a tangerine sunset—floats past her (_whoosh_) and makes her blink. Dust to dust. Ashes to ashes. And brown to…orange. Not everything is what it seems.

"Remus," she whispers, to remind herself of where she is going.

"Avada Kedavra!" someone says. She sucks in a breath, but keeps moving. There is nothing she can do now. What is one more unavoidable ending in a spectrum full of them?

(She avoids answering that question.)

* * *

Halfway through Hogwarts, with still no sign of Remus, she begins to tell herself that this is not her ending. It's not her time to die. She's still young, she still has an infant, still has a husband. She still has a life to live, unused time to waste away like it matters.

She's holding onto visions of a yellow sunshine and a beautiful ocean with yellow glimmers on the surface, sitting next to her own personal bright yellow light bulb, lighting up her life. Remus is her everything. She subconsciously fingers the necklace she's wearing.

It's a wolf charm—given to her by her wolf as a joke. It's one of her most precious treasures. She kisses it gently and leaves it to dangle around her neck as she shoots off a stunning spell around the next corner.

This is not her ending.

She refuses.

* * *

The green fields of Hogwarts have been replaced by another green: that of the killing curse. It flies around a little too much for Tonks's liking, and never hits the side she wants it to. All around her, there is utter destruction caused by two simple words.

She is outside now, moving along the side of the decrepit castle, holding her breath and praying that he's safe, wherever he is. Just hoping to Merlin that she'll find him soon; find him in time; or that someone is with him to protect him. He is her life, and she won't let his ending be too soon, either.

Secretly, she's always dreamed of an adventurous Auror life for the two of them, ending in a quaint little house in the green countryside where Teddy visits them with their grandchildren every weekend and they go out together in their sleep.

Cradled gently by his arms until they are somewhere warmer and somewhere happier; that's how she's going to go. Better than the cold green jets of war and cruel, twisted fingers around a wand that administers the final blow of her life unexpectedly. She will have time to say goodbye. She will have time to live and die, each in their own right.

She is so deeply in love with him that it would almost be too cruel for the universe to kill them before their time. She adores him. She cannot soak up enough of his love in a year, let alone a lifetime.

Tonks uses these words to reassure herself, but they are as empty as the cold eyes of so many killed already. She presses on. For Remus.

* * *

Medium blue skies begin to turn navy, and Tonks begins to worry. She's practically fought her way around the entirety of the grounds, and—

There.

Not Remus, but a sight that would turn his stomach and one that causes Tonks to stop dead in her tracks. A young girl, Harry's age, is being bitten by a wolf. She sucks in a breath as she realizes it's not just any wolf. It's Greyback.

"Stupefy," she whispers, and a blue bolt shoots out of her wand. It collides with Greyback's body at the same time as another stunning spell from a young boy standing by her.

"Lavender!" he shouts, and drops to his knees. "We need 'elp!"

This is what Remus would want her to do, and so without hesitation she sprints to the other side of the clearing and kneels down beside Lavender. "Stay with her," she says to the boy. "Take her to a safe place, if you can. She's extremely vulnerable and may not be conscious if the bite has taken full effect. If you can, give her wolfsbane as soon as possible."

His dark blue eyes are lifeless, and Tonks puts her hands on his shoulders to make him look up.

"Okay?"

He nods and picks her up. "I'll take care of 'er."

She breathes a sigh of relief and stands up. "Good luck," she says, and an understanding passes between them. They will both fight. Voldemort must lose.

"You too," he replies, and then he is gone. Tonks feels a pang in her heart for the girl, and for the boy who is obviously in love with her. Nothing is fair in love and war.

The blue sky grows darker.

* * *

She finds him in the courtyard, dueling Dolohov. It looks to her as though they've been going for a while, and she is about to make a move to join in when she feels a wand at her back.

"Hello, dear niece of mine." A maniacal laugh from the woman behind her makes Tonks shudder.

"Bellatrix."

The wand is shoved at her back again. "That's Aunt Bellatrix to you."

"You know, I'd really love to do this some other time, but I've got places to go, things to do." Tonks whirls around quickly. "Expelliarmus!"

Bellatrix's wand goes flying across the clearing, and her face is furious. Her indigo eyes seem to pierce Tonks's skull, making her shudder. She has the chance to finish it. Right there, right then. But every second she spends deciding whether to kill her or just stun her is a second that Remus is fighting by himself.

"This is your warning, Bellatrix. Go. Leave. Go back to your slimy little 'Dark Lord.' You will lose." She turns on her heels and runs to Remus.

Remus barely turns around, but he knows that she's there. "Took you long enough!" he says, smiling. She shoots off a jinx that is barely reflected by Dolohov. Between the two of them, they can beat him. They can do it.

"Well, you know, places to be, people to see. I'm fairly popular."

He grins. "Even after all this time, you're still full of surprises."

"Even after all this time, you can't get it through your thick head that I'll always show up for you," she says over the noise of the battle. Remus can't wipe the smile off of his face.

"Love you," he says casually.

"Love you, too," she replies.

Dolohov looks like he's going to gag. The indigo sky is brightened by stars peeking out from the clouds, and for the first time, she feels hope.

* * *

They are close; so close. He's slipping, and Remus and Tonks have him.

"We're gonna do this," Remus says.

"I knew we could," she says, smiling back at him and flicking her wrist.

"Oh, I'm positively touched!" A voice says. Tonks stops dead, nearly letting one of Dolohov's curses hit her.

She turns around and points her wand at Bellatrix. "I thought I got rid of you."

"She's a cockroach," Remus jokes. "Can't get rid of her unless you kill her."

"What a good idea, love. Be right back."

The world spins in slow motion. Every jinx is an hour, every curse a lifetime. Tonks is acutely aware of every spell sent both her way and at Remus. The air is full of victory, and she's getting overconfident. That's why she fails to notice the killing curse until it's almost too late.

She sees it as it leaves Dolohov's wand, and her heart stops. Bellatrix's face is filled with glee as she hears the words leave his lips. Tonks drowns out all else except Remus's face. This is the last time she'll see him alive.

Soon, she'll be dead.

She moves to her left as the impact of the curse hits her slowly. Remus yells. Violet spots fill her eyes and she drops to the ground without feeling it, yet she is still watching his lips move silently. The noise of the battle has disappeared, only to be replaced with a strange buzzing sound.

A thud, and Remus is next to her, his eyes begging for help. Inside, she is screaming. She saved him, didn't she? Why is he next to her, reaching out his hand to hers and trying not to close his eyes? Didn't she save him? Wasn't her life enough of a sacrifice so that he could live?

The violet closes in, and the buzzing disappears. "I love you," he is saying, over and over and over again. Bellatrix's laugh is disappearing as she runs with Dolohov back to the castle, but Tonks could care less.

"I love you," he repeats. She looks him in the eyes as best as she can and knows that he can see she loves him, too.

Teddy. Her mother. Molly. Arthur. The kids. Hermione. Harry.

Remus.

Their faces flash through her mind, tinged with violet. So this is what it's like to die. Quiet. Filled with love and regret and time not lived.

His hand finds hers, and she squeezes it. That is how they go. It is their ending.

* * *

In the end, they never reach the cottage in the countryside and they never get their grandkids and their happily ever after. They die in the cold clutch of war, with the cruel fingers and the soulless wands. But they die in love, and they die for their son. For his future. For the future of their grandchildren and great-grandchildren and nieces and nephews.

Their lives were filled with love, and Tonks thinks it is fitting that when she closes her eyes to a never-ending platform of white, love is how it ends.

Just her, and Remus, and love.

The spectrum of endings is just what it says—ending. But their story is just beginning.

* * *

_A/N: Written as a birthday present for the amazing Anna :3 I hope your birthday is positively wonderful, love!_

_Also written for the Last Ship Standing Competition, Round Five, using the action, emotion, dialogue, and song. Team Remus/Tonks: because love is forever._

_I'd appreciate a review on your way out to hear what you thought :)_

_Allie_


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